Our Sweet Lewie

 I still can hardly even think about our sweet Lewie without crying.  It still seems like a bad dream that he's really gone.  If you would have asked me two weeks ago or even a week ago I would have said that Lewie was a fighter and he was going to be coming home any day now.  For some unknown reason our little guy took a turn for the worse.  He started swelling and there was no explanation and nothing could be done.  It was agonizing to watch the poor baby suffer.  You knew that we was miserable and fading fast.  I was still very faithful and optimistic.  I would talk about solutions and Mitch would remind me, "Stop fighting Aubrey, we've turned it over to the Lord."  I could tell from Mitch's texts and words that he was somehow at peace.  He wasn't worrying anymore and was relying completely on the Lord.  

The night before Lewie passed I was still fasting and praying.  I couldn't sleep  until strangely at 2:00 am I had the most wonderful feeling of peace come over me.  I finally got some rest and first thing that morning texted my dad to see how our sweet guy was doing.  I was sure I would get some great news and once again our prayers had been answered.  Sadly, my mom replied that they were taking him off the ventilator and I should hurry up to the hospital for the name and blessing.  I quickly threw the boys in the car and rushed up to Primary.  I sobbed the entire way not understanding what was going on.  Lewie was supposed to make it.  

When I arrived at the hospital I hurried and dropped the boys off at daycare and ran to Lewie's room.  I had just missed my nephew's blessing.  I held Mitch and then Rach in my arms and sobbed.  As I hugged my brother and sister in-law I couldn't explain the pain I was feeling for them.  Not wanting to spread germs to precious Lewie I had never dared touch his face before.  This time as I said goodbye to my little nephew I kissed his tender face and rested my cheek on his forehead for the last time.  The love I felt was immense and I didn't want him to suffer any longer.  As I watched Mitch and Rach and looked around the room at our siblings it hurt me to think how young we all were.  Especially Mitch and Rach were too young and innocent to go through something like this.  Watching them say goodbye to their son was the hardest and saddest thing I have ever witnessed.  

I was touched as the doctors came in to do their final assessment.  They were emotional and you could tell they too hurt for Mitch and Rach.  Lewie's number one and favorite nurse Mary was there that day.  It wouldn't have been the same without her.  When I hugged Mary goodbye I couldn't believe how sad I was to not be seeing her on a regular basis and talk to her.  A representative from the hospital came in to give Mitch and Rach a baby blanket as a keepsake.  My mom and I both gasped when we saw the blanket.  It was out of the same rocking horse fabric that Mitch's baby blanket had been made from over twenty years ago.  It was a tender mercy that touched all of us.  

As we were saying our last goodbyes to Lewie Mitch asked me to go get the carseat out of his car.  We had given them our carseat when Brody was done with it.  Mitch had been very protective of it...he didn't want anyone moving it from his car.  For forty-five days it sat there in the car buckled and waiting.  Every time I walked by their car at the hospital and saw it in there I hurt.  It hurt to see it there empty and not being used.  

As we were driving home from the hospital Luke said he was hungry so we pulled over at Dunk N Donuts.  Luke asked why were getting donuts for lunch and I replied, "We deserve donuts today."  While waiting in the drive thru Mitch's final update text came through.

Today Lewie Hyde Waite passed away in his mother and father's arms. Let me tell you though that my testimony in the gospel has never been stronger. I honestly don't know how people go through life and its trials without the gospel. From the moment Lewie was born and we were told that his precious body wasn't whole, I dreaded this day. I broke out in tears just thinking about losing Lewie. I couldn't handle the thought of saying goodbye to Lewie before he could even walk. But, when the moment came, I felt such immense and incomprehensible peace and it is because I underestimated the power of the atonement. Christ's comforting hands are wrapped around us. I feel the comfort and joy because we know where Lewie is and now I know exactly where Rach and I need to be in order to see Lewie again. Elder Kikuchi had given Lewie two blessings to become a valiant missionary. I know on the other side of the veil that he is already receiving his calling and going to work. This challenge has not made us question our beliefs or filled us with anger towards god. In fact it has had the exact opposite effect. Lewie is happy and at peace and more importantly, he has been granted a special place in the upper most echelon of heaven. Thank you for your prayers and your fasts. I think that this experience has brought us all so much closer together.

As I thought about what Mitch had said I realized the feelings I had felt last night.  I believe that I felt peace because Lewie had already gone to heaven and he wasn't suffering anymore.  Lewie knew what his purpose was here on earth.  We were just having a hard time accepting it.  Yes the Lord blessed him and answered our prayers.  We saw miracles time and time again with little Lewie.  There is no doubt in my mind that Lewie had a mission here on earth and he fulfilled it triumphantly.  It amazes me to see the multitudes of people sweet Lewie touched.  Particularly in our own family, we all learned something from him and are much better people because of him.  Even though Lewie only lived 45 days he accomplished great things.  Words cannot express the love I have for my sweet nephew and I cannot wait to see him again!